Dedicated to the memory of John

This site is a tribute to John. He is much loved and will always be remembered.

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Dad was a curious mixture: • Highly intelligent; but could be remarkably stupid in practical things • Loved doing his daily crosswords and setting word-play challenges for parties, yet was the adult who played with children on their level; I am sure all my cousins remember playing “humpty-dumpty” falling off his knee or leaping “wider and wider” whilst doing the circuit down-the-steps in Chelmsford Gardens. • He put a lot of energy and enthusiasm striving for perfection in all things, yet never really actually implemented his mother’s advice to “Take time to do things properly” • Tolerant with others, yet hyper self-critical, needing constant reassurance because he never felt himself good enough. However he did have the confidence to determine that he wanted to marry Sheila at the first opportunity (despite the active opposition from his mother which meant that his entire family boycotted the wedding and led to strained relationships for over a decade)- they enjoyed 66.5 years of happy marriage. • One of his favourite sayings was “A critic does not easily miss what he desires to find”; he certainly could be pedantic! Some of my own "daughters" have also let it be known that they find the same trait in me. Dad’s family origins were very important to him- particularly his naming and the existence or otherwise of a twin brother who may have died shortly after birth but was probably a figment of his over-active imagination. Although always to be known as John, his legal name followed that of his mother’s younger brother, Edward John Barnes, who, like so many of the generation was killed in the First World War at a very young age. Such family use of the middle name seemed to follow a Woodbridge family tradition; Dad’s father was formally Ernest Stanley yet was always known as Stanley. In both cases this may have been to avoid their initials spelling an English word. Edward was also the name of his paternal grandfather, important to him both as the founder of the family removals business where he was to work for some thirty years and also because of the bequest of historic coins which remained Dad’s lifelong interest. However he certainly very much identified with “John”; I think it no coincidence that he became a scholar at St. John’s College Cambridge and I believe that he always felt a special connection with John the Baptist, John Tyndale and John Wesley In the role of spreading the word of God to the common man. Like the other Edward John, he was a pupil at Chigwell School; similarly my cousins Michael and Tony and myself were also pupils there in our time but we did not enter the 6th form still wearing short trousers. However that is as far as I followed him: • he was interested in ancient languages, whereas I have focussed on science; • he eventually went into the business undertaking particularly financial management and the multitude of tasks involved in running a small family business, whereas I have been a railway engineer for all my work life, generally working for large companies; • he supports the light blue in the boat race, whereas I owe allegiance to the dark blue; • he married at the first opportunity de and completed 66.5 years of happy marriage to Sheila, conversely I have always been intentionally single; • he was a person of great faith and staunch Methodist, whereas I am an atheist Despite these differences we have rarely had any disagreements; he always permitted us to take our own paths in life and was supportive. • Indeed it may have been his reading of the Revd Awdry books (incidentally the originals were highly moral tales, nothing like the modern "Thomas The Tank Engine" cartoons- these were also used to teach my nephews both their colours and numbers) and the subsequent visit to the Bluebell Railway in its very early years that may have ended up having a significant influence on my life. • Karen however always wanted the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears” read to her when she woke up in the night; whether that has influenced her work with pre-school children I am not sure- you’d have to ask her An early memory relates to the Tuesdays when Mum was out at evening classes. I can’t tell you too much about the games we got up to in the bathroom but they involved the dirty clothes basket and the shower attachment for the bath taps. Karen and I remember being taken into the office on Saturday mornings and school holidays; we could see the crane unloading containers, use the typewriters and clean the wax crayon writing on the Perspex sheets which was the planning tool. This was of course well before office computers, but there was a whole room dedicated to the photocopier and excitement when the Telex machine suddenly sprang to life at 50 baud. Dad would sprint across the office, because if you could start typing a reply before the connection timed out, the originator would be paying the entire phone bill. This time of year evokes some of the earliest memories Karen and I have of him; making the marzipan fruits, fudge and coconut ice and stuffing dates in readiness for Christmas celebrations. Another Christmas tradition is the use of the decorative dinner plates. This arose for the practical reason that they were normally displayed on the ledge at doorway height around the hall, but this space was used for Christmas decorations (to avoid the need for drawing pins or Sellotape ruing the wallpaper). Since they needed another home, they were utilised for serving meals; we all have our dedicated plate and he of course utilised “The Parson”. Christmas Eve was the time of the special meal he always cooked; grilled rainbow trout, croquet potatoes and frozen peas. Again this arose for pragmatic reasons; WOODBRIDGE& Co stopped for Christmas as soon as the last lorry arrived back by lunchtime, he came home to look after us, releasing Mum to go to the hairdressers appointment. He cooked so that we could eat and get to the 6pm carol concert at the local church so that we could be sent straight to bed afterwards. Although he rarely cooked at other times, he always did his fair share of drying up, but did keep a running total and draw attention to any exceedance of the quota of 50 items. Many of our memories are associated with holidays, almost always in the UK had in our later childhood in a caravan in a farmer’s field somewhere. However we do remember being taken on our first Aeroplane in 1971 when he was flying to Zurich for a conference. The world has changed a lot since; we remember being given Swissair badges which had a long very sharp point and also being invited in to see the pilots in the cockpit. Looking back on it now, it is incredible how precise his arrival time was both was at the end of the working day and for coming home at lunchtime; this was of course well before the days of being able to complete any urgent unfinished tasks from home. His impatience never changed; indeed his refusal to accept that he needed always to use the many walking aids that he had contributed to many falls, the last of which was the one which took him to hospital where he contracted COVID. However unlike so many others, it is clear that his life was nearing its end anyway. From the beginning of the year he had been convinced that he would not lie to see the post pandemic world and even in 2018 had been very limited in what he could do. His frustration at not being able to play the organ, difficulty in reading and the effort he had to make to type on the computer even using a special keyboard had meant that life had really become a struggle for day-to-day existence and excessive worry over trivialities. In many ways I feel that I lost my Dad gradually over the last few years and today just marks the logical conclusion.
Peter
8th December 2020
As children we all had so much fun with Uncle John. Family gatherings at Cambridge Gardens were full of laughter - from frantic games of 'stations' and black & white Mickey Mouse reels, to croquet and dressing up for supper, John made every minute of it. I'm sure his grandchildren felt exactly the same when it was their turn some 30 years later. So many fond memories. Our thoughts are with Sheila, Peter & Karen. With much love from Frances, Andrew, Joan and all the Mann family x
Frances
7th December 2020
I remember when John came to visit us with Sheila several years ago; in particular, I recall his energetic spirit and enthusiasm when reading Winnie the Pooh aloud to us. It was always a pleasure to see him at Maycraft family gatherings, and it is sad to know that our future ones will be without him. He will be remembered fondly, and my thoughts are with those who were closest to him.
Ilina
7th December 2020
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